Another Legend Gone

 

Andy Griffith, the actor who portrayed the most lovable sheriff in TV History, has died at the age of 86 in North Carolina. His death comes just weeks after fellow Mayberry native George Lindsey (Goober Pyle) died at the age 83. To me, Andy Griffith, or more specifically his Andy Griffith Show character Andy Taylor, represents everything that is GOOD about America, a religious man of a simpler time in a small town, a sheriff who cares about the people he arrests, good ole timey music with people sitting around enjoying and singing along, and a TV show that didn’t feature cursing or sex as it’s sole source of humor like Two and a Half Men.

Andy started supporting things I disagree with later in his life, things such as Obamacare, but by then he had dementia and probably didn’t even realize Obama was a democrat, or black, or socialist, or a Muslim, or gay. He was a big advocate for lower prices on prescription drugs as far back as his Matlock days, and was most certainly misinformed, thinking it would actually help seniors.

Trayvon Martin: Another Dead Snot-nosed Punk

I’m getting sick and tired of hearing about how George Zimmerman killed an “innocent kid minding his own business”. That is not how it happened and the MSM knows it, they just don’t want the American public to know it. Of course the liberals took this opportunity to blame it on the Stand Your Ground law. You see, to a liberal, exercising your second amendment (and even first amendment when they disagree with you) is racist. Gun ownership in the eyes of a liberal is racist, not believing in the global warming bullshit is racist, being against higher taxes is racist, listening to Rock n Roll music instead of (c)rap is racist, having any kind of cultural identity or heritage is racist. How stupid can a person be?

10 Worst Movies Ever

Since I’m bored, and very much opinionated about that which sucks royal ass, I figured I’d count down for you the ten worst cinematic disasters ever made.

10: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake)

This film is a remake, which automatically gets put on my shit-list because remakes simply should not exist. When compared to the 1974 version, this film doesn’t even come close.

9: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Jar Jar Binks and midi-chlorians…’nuff said. When George Lucas isn’t out ruining his classics and replacing some ghost with Hayden Christensen, he’s out making bad movies. Personally, I liked Episodes II and III, but the first movie of the prequel trilogy blows.

8: Duck Soup

I laughed my ass off throughout Animal Crackers, so when I rented the VHS of Duck Soup from the library expecting nonstop laughs, I was sorely disappointed. I didn’t laugh once during this film.

7: Howard the Duck

There have been movies that were complete Box Office failures that can say that despite losing money on the film, the movie was still good. Cutthroat Island is a perfect example of such a film, but Howard the Duck cannot make such a claim, this movie blows.

6: Justin Bieber: Never Say Never

Good God! They movie a movie about this little faggot? Talk about the decline of Western Civilization!

5: Bee Movie

This movie was made by the most unfunny man on the face of the planet, Jerry Seinfeld. Of course the movie is CGI so all the kids will line up to see it. That is pretty much the only reason for its Box Office Success.

4: The Honeymooners

Really? REALLY? Where do I even begin? If Jackie Gleason had lived to see this movie, someone’s ass would have been knocked straight to the Moon. Why not just change the title to “Amos and Andy” and be done with it?!

3:Thor

This movie is not only a disgrace to the ancient god of Nordic mythology, but a disgrace to the Marvel Comic character as well. Thor is kicked out of Asgard for pissing off the ice-niggers or some shit, then Odin goes into a coma and Thor becomes a pussy who can’t even pull his hammer out of the ground. There is no real “superhero” action in this movie, it’s just Thor hanging out with Natalie Portman the whole time engaging in mindless chatter. God what an awful movie!!!

2: Godzilla (1998)

Yet another remake. This Godzilla looks nothing like the Godzilla we all grew up watching, as a matter of fact, I’m not even going to dignify the creature by calling it Godzilla, because it ain’t. What a wretched movie this is!

1: Batman And Robin

MY EYES! MY EYES! What in THE hell did I just watch? This movie is so bad that it makes me want to tear my eyes out! Bob Kane must have been rolling in his grave faster than a cement mixer when this movie came out. The Batman and Robin suits had nipples on them (Batgirl’s suit didn’t by the way), but even without the rubber nipples the Batsuit had other issues with it, for instance the fact that it looked absolutely nothing like the actual Batsuit from the comics. When Joel Schumacher wasn’t busy zooming in and doing close ups of Batman and Robin’s ass and oversized cod-pieces, he was busy writing bad puns which were to be spoken by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who had no business being Mr. Freeze, who had no business being in this film.

worst movie 10

Most remakes are disgraces when compared to the oiginal.

Ewww! It’s touching me!

Our welfare dollars ladies and gentlemen.

Occupy An Asshole

A communist spewing his shit everywhere. Does this idiot even know that the cardboard that his pathetic little picket sign is on was made by a corporation?

So it seems it is Red October, time for a communist revolution on Wall Street I guess. Apparently, a bunch of hippies got bored playing hackey-sack and decided that since they are in their 20s, they know it all, and decided stink up Wall Street with their “America should be more like North Korea” chants. After a few days, those computer hackers that wear the “V For Vendetta” masks came (I figured the Tea Party better represents V For Vendetta because they’re against the government, not  the corporations) along with random people who just felt like rioting and boom, Wall Street is now “occupied” with the stench that hippies naturally have, coupled with the stench of fail.

There is so much fail that I don’t know where to begin. Fist off, their message in and of itself actually is a fail in its own right, but take a closer look and you’ll realize there is much more fail.  These protesters are using their modern devices that were made by Apple inc., wearing clothes made by Abercrombie and Fitch,  and waving signs they made with materials they bought at Staples and Wal-Mart. I don’t think these dumbasses even know what their protesting for and against half the time, they think the government owes them something when in fact, the government owes them absolutely nothing, and that’s the way it should be.

NBA Games Cancelled; Nobody Cares

David Stern

NBA commisioner David Stern announced Monday that he had cancelled the first two weeks of the regular season, but nobody cares because basketball sucks donkey balls. Most people couldn’t give two shits that the NBA is in a lockout because its football season, the World Series is right around the corner, the NASCAR Chase is heating up, and, if you’re Canadian or up north, it’s hockey season. All of the aforementioned sports are superior to basketball (and soccer too, but that’s a different rant) and as a result, an inferior sport involving inferior people is pushed to the side. It would suit me just fine if the whole damn season was cancelled, I could go without seeing Lebron James crying after the season is over because his ego is greater than his talent. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Buh Bye Scumbag!

Time's up, dirtbag!

Murdering scumbag Troy Davis, who should have hanged 20 years ago, is set to be executed tonight at 7:00 PM. I wish they would show it on ESPN, I’d grab the popcorn. His execution comes much to the chagrin of liberals, the NAACP (the National Association for the Advancement of the Communist Party), Amnesty International, and other bleeding heart groups made specifically for idiots who buy into that stupid shit. Screw them! At any rate, Troy Davis will soon be dead. Buh bye scumbag, enjoy your stay in Hell.

Africans Are Starving, Boo Fucking Hoo!

Starving Africans enjoy reproducing.

I’ve been hearing a lot in the news lately about starving Ethiopians and Somalians. All the bleeding hearts are crying and demanding we give money to help these starving idiots. Let me make this perfectly clear; not one single cent will I donate to that shithole! You may be thinking that I’m being mean, but think about this:

The Africans reproduce like rabbits when they barely have enough to feed themselves. Why do they not have enough to feed themselves? Simple, they’re too stupid to know how to irrigate (we’re talking about a race that has yet to even invent the wheel for themselves), they’re too lazy to grow food, and they poison their only water supplies. You could dig them a well and fill it with water, they would just use the well as a toilet and then complain to you that they have no clean water to drink. Tough shit!